An Excrement Weekend
Recently, my boyfriend and I were leaving a party in Koreatown and walking back to my car. After stepping into the vehicle and smelling a god-forsaken stench, we looked at each other with accusatory eyes. Had we indulged in too many crazy food combinations that evening? What kind of vile digestive issues was the other person having? But this stank was far too potent to have been delivered in gas form. I worried that a weekend diet of wine, cheese, dessert and more alcohol had taken its toll on someone's undies. Fortunately for us, neither of us had paid for our dietary indiscretions with a case of the squirts. Unfortunately, my carpet had paid for the neglect of a dog owner who must be feeding his pet some pretty gnarly stuff. Needless, to say I was not thrilled about the smelly ride home or the cleanup to follow. It was raining, so I left the carpet outside, sprayed it with disinfectant and washed the carpet again once the rain had subsided. Then I left the carpet out to dry. After a day of sun, I figured it'd be good to go. However, when I next checked on the carpet, there was a tremendous splat of bird shit smack dab in the middle of the carpet. I had to laugh out loud. Now, I am contemplating starting the process over or inventing a foolproof process to avoid all varieties of animal excrement.
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