Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Unseasonably and unreasonably cold here on the East coast, I have taken to wearing these dazzling booties. Not even the cats will be seen with me. Where, you may wonder, did I find these treasures? They were in my Nana's closet, still wrapped in the produce bags that she uses to suffocate and preserve all of her unused oldies but goodies. She thought they might be nice for the cold inside my aunt and uncles' house, since I don't believe in heat. I mean, I know it exists, I just don't think it's good for the sinuses. May have to change my ways... Perhaps I will return to L.A. a completely different animal. I get out here and start doing hot yoga, stop driving my car, purchase an iPhone and incessantly sweep my fingers across its screen, start eating pork regularly (the Jews are right about this one - it's a doozy to digest) and doing all sorts of previously unthinkable things - like wearing this highly flammable and extremely reproachable foot gear.