Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

My plane was delayed and while waiting I took a good look at the diversity of our species and I thought some thoughts...Some people thought it fitting to provide these uncomfortable (I know - I gave them a whirl) rocking chairs to the jet set at the Boston airport. Are these chairs a last resort? A sorry consolation for surviving the stale air and various vectors of disease in this waiting room of the unfriendly skies? Somehow they just didn't make up for the price of the prohibitively expensive flights and the lack of the crappy free food I used to be able to complain about on board. I don't even think the rockers appeased the geriatric crowd. These ladies were emitting noises - half burps, half complaints - it was the chairs' fault. I don't know who is behind the chairs but THEY are uncommonly bad people. Forgo the cost of chairs; I'd rather be served free nuts on the plane - cashews or almonds, roasted and salted please.

I did have some wonderful opportunities to check out the masses.

First, I did some serious tattoo watching. The foot seems to be prime real estate - too many bones there if you ask me.

Then, I saw a straight man with greasy hair in a head band - SCORE!!! That's worth like 5,000 points in the video game of life


Next, I visited the loo - ewww! Public restrooms make me nervous. The bathrooms on airplanes make my teeth itch and my toes curl... and NOT in a good way. Nowadays, when I use a public restroom, I assume that I will not have to manually flush. THEY - as in the aforementioned THEY - must invest in those automated sensor thingies. The less I touch on an airplane and in an airport the better. One of the most wondrous things you get to see at the airport, though, is people brushing their teeth. It's usually a very abbreviated and abashed version of people's real deal. Sometimes you can totally tell that a person developed a whole new style of brushing so as not to embarrass themselves while I stare. Anyhow, you forget that brushing your teeth is kind of a private ritual - it tickles me to watch people's private rituals.

Finally, while nursing a very expensive green tea (Starbucks is the devil and they needn't use double cups, a lid, and a sleeve, but they always do, even though I ask them, kindly, not to and the people who serve me always grimace when I tell them my hands are impervious to heat because I am trying to save the Earth as I purchase second-rate bagged tea from this horrid company) I try to imagine appropriate reading material for each person's carry-on. However, a young man with an ill-fitting pair of punk-rock skinny jeans, basketball shoes that were shiny as a new car and perhaps only slightly less expensive, a crazy haircut for which there is no name or scientific explanation, and a beautiful rosary REALLY stumped me. I'm still thinking about what he could possibly be reading - it completely blows my mind just thinking about it.

All in all I fared better than this poor soul: