Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Ridiculous Happenings

1. I heard the MUSAK version of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" complete with soprano sax and vibraphones while on hold with my health insurance company. WHY was I calling them? NOT because of one piece of mail they sent me which kindly asked me to: "Call customer service if you cannot read this letter. We will be happy to answer any of your questions" WTF!

2. This squirrel wants to be my friend. I've decided that he's a baby boy, but he could very well be an aging hermaphrodite. Anyhow, he really likes to watch me tidy up and drink tea while striking "Thriller" poses and hanging onto my screen door.

Snow, Aldo

Once, I was in New York,
in Central Park, and I saw
an old man in a black overcoat walking
a black dog. This was springtime
and the trees were still
bare and the sky was
gray and low and it began, suddenly,
to snow:
big fat flakes
that twirled and landed on the
black of the man's overcoat and
the black dog's fur. The dog
lifted his face and stared
up at the sky. The man looked
up, too. "Snow, Aldo," he said to the dog,
"snow." And he laughed.
The dog looked
at him and wagged his tail.

If I was in charge of making
snow globes, this is what I would put inside:
the old man in the black overcoat,
the black dog,
two friends with their faces turned up to the sky
as if they were receiving a blessing,
as if they were being blessed together
by something
as simple as snow
in March.

by Kate DiCamillo

Ginger-Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

Makes about ten 1/2 cup servings

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 cup whole milk
1 1/2 cup heavy cream
1 whole vanilla bean (about 6 inches in length)
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
large pinch of kosher salt

DIRECTIONS:

1. Combine milk and heavy cream in medium saucepan. Use a chef knife to split vanilla bean in half lengthwise. Use the blunt edge of knife to scrape out "seeds". Stir seeds and bean pod into milk mixture. Bring mixture to a slow boil over medium heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2. Meanwhile, combine eggs, yolks, and sugar in a medium bowl. Use an electric standing mixer or hand held mixer on medium speed to whisk until the mixture is thick, smooth, and pale yellow, about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes.

3. Remove the vanilla bean pod from the milk mixture and make sure heat is off. Pour 1 cup of the hot liquid into a liquid measuring cup (or any vessel that pours easily). With the mixer on low speed, pour the hot liquid into the egg mixture in a slow steady stream. After thoroughly combined, pour the egg mixture, grated ginger, ground ginger, and salt back into the saucepan and stir to combine. Cook stirring frequently over medium heat until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Transfer to a medium bowl and cover with a sheet of plastic wrap placed directly onto the custard, and chill completely.

4. Turn your ice cream machine on and pour the custard into the frozen freezer bowl and let mix until thickened, about 28 - 32 minutes.

** The easiest way to "peel" ginger is using the back of a regular kitchen spoon. Simply scrape the skin off - it's almost miraculous!

Recipe by Cristina Paul

Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Honest to God... I ONLY watched the last episode of The Bachelor this season and Jason Mesnick aka THE biggest d-bag aka The Bachelor has made me totally lose hope. I don't think this is a problem that Obama can fix. Interestingly enough, Hoover or some other vacuum cleaner had a lot of commercials on this 2 hour episode (plus the After The Final Rose shocker). The commercials were set to the tune of Etta James' "At Last". The juxtaposition of Jason's terrible indecision and these 30 second blips about people, romantic music, and mechanical cleaning devices has led me to this conclusion: it is more plausible for people to sustain a healthy relationship with a hunk of Hoover than to carry one out with another human being. It's just a hypothesis. I truly hope that I am proven wrong... but wait, this awful show has made me lose all hope.

Bridal Shower

Perhaps, in a distant café,
four or five people are talking
with the four or five people
who are chatting on their cell phones this morning
in my favorite café.

And perhaps someone there,
someone like me, is watching them as they frown,
or smile, or shrug
at their invisible friends or lovers,
jabbing the air for emphasis.

And, like me, he misses the old days,
when talking to yourself
meant you were crazy,
back when being crazy was a big deal,
not just an acronym
or something you could take a pill for.

I liked it
when people who were talking to themselves
might actually have been talking to God
or an angel.
You respected people like that.

You didn't want to kill them,
as I want to kill the woman at the next table
with the little blue light on her ear
who has been telling the emptiness in front of her
about her daughter's bridal shower
in astonishing detail
for the past thirty minutes.

O person like me,
phoneless in your distant café,
I wish we could meet to discuss this,
and perhaps you would help me
murder this woman on her cell phone,

after which we could have a cup of coffee,
maybe a bagel, and talk to each other,
face to face.

by George Bilgere

Vermillion Quinoa

Serves 4-6 as a main dish

This quinoa is lovely when served with poached eggs or steamed veggies. It can be accompanied by avocado, hummus, or a simple drizzling of oil or sprinkling of herbs.

INGREDIENTS:
1 bunch of steamed beets, chopped, about 1 1/2 - 2 pounds (see instructions for beets below)
1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil
3 scallions thinly sliced
Chicken stock
1 1/2 cups quinoa, rinsed
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1/4 teaspoon coarse salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

INSTRUCTIONS:
For the beets: Remove greens and reserve for another use, leaving a 1-inch beet top. Wash beets thoroughly. Place beets in steamer basket set in large saucepan with 1 inch of water. Bring to boil; steam over high heat until beets can easily be pierced with thin knife, 30 to 45 minutes, depending on beet size. Reserve steaming liquid in a large liquid measuring cup. Cool beets slightly, and remove skins. You may want to use dish washing gloves while removing skins to avoid staining your hands.
For the quinoa:
1.While beets steam, heat olive oil on medium in a small pan. Add scallions and cook until softened, stirring occasionally, 3–5 minutes. Reserve.
2. Add enough chicken stock to the cup measure containing the steaming liquid (from the beets) to make a total of 3 cups of liquid. Add liquid and quinoa to a medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. Taste quinoa to test for doneness. The grains should be translucent and the germs should have opened.
3. Mix in the chopped beets, scallions, zest, salt and pepper. Adjust seasoning.

** Quinoa pronounced KEEN-wah) is a pseudocereal rather than a true cereal as it is not a grass. It’s appreciated for its nutritional value, as its protein content is high (12%–18%), making it a healthful choice for vegetarians. Unlike wheat or rice quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source. Easy to digest, quinoa is also a good source of dietary fiber and gluten-free. Because of all these characteristics, quinoa is being considered as a potential crop in NASA's Controlled Ecological Life Support System for long-duration manned spaceflights.
* Be careful not to let the pan run out of water while steaming the beets. Place marbles below the steamer basket before steaming to make sure you won’t forget; they will stop jiggling when the pan is dry.

Recipe by Cristina Paul

Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Life can only be understood backwards, but it has to be lived forwards.

— Søren Kierkegaard