Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Today, I received a frighteningly "inspirational" video text message, complete with Atari-like, God music. The video was of gray footprints (no feet though) making their ominous way along the sand of an overcast beach - I was hoping the feet would lead me to a free prescription of Xanax or something like a pot of gold at the end of a beatific rainbow - no such luck. However, the text urged me to spread the Word to at least 7 others. For a second there, I struggled against a fear that those benevolent footsteps might turn into nasty, bird-dogging demons during my sleep. Fortunately, a more level-headed friend, who knows that I don't really need a happy pill, nor do I require a pot of gold to purchase a Cartier watch for myself and all of my closest friends, and I certainly am no purveyor of Logos, sent me this awesome video. If I had my way with the world, we'd all be doing something sorta like this.

The Naming of The Animals

Having commanded Adam to bestow

Names upon all the creatures, God withdrew

To empyrean palaces of blue

That warm and windless morning long ago,

And seemed to take no notice of the vexed

Look on the young man's face as he took thought

Of all the miracles the Lord had wrought

Now to be labeled, dubbed, yclept, indexed.



Before an addled mind and puddle brow,

The feathered nation and the finny prey

Passed by; there went biped and quadruped.

Adam looked forth with bottomless dismay

Into the tragic eyes of his first cow,

And shyly ventured, "Thou shalt be called 'Fred.'"

by Anthony Hecht, from Collected Later Poems.

Nopales On My Mind

Serves 4


Because everyone deserves a taste of this slimy creature food. This dish pairs nicely with other summer fare such as grilled chicken or sausages.

INGREDIENTS:
1 medium sized nopal leaf (be sure that it's pretty flat and firm if you are going to prepare the leaf yourself)
kosher salt
2 larger or 3 smaller ripe manila mangoes
2 large, ripe avocados
2 Tbsp of fresh lime juice
1/4 cup chopped, fresh mint
2 Tbsp of roasted and salted pistachios
1/8 tsp very high quality, viscous balsamic vinegar

DIRECTIONS:
1. Trim and wash the nopal leaf.
2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Boil the whole nopal leaf for 15-18 minutes. Remove the nopal from the boiling water and transfer to an ice bath.
3. Cut the nopal into 1/2" thick strips that are about 2" long. Place the nopales in a chilled bowl - they will be a bit slimy and will become even more mucilaginous once they are in the salad - don't fear.
4. Cut the mangoes into bite sized pieces and remove the skin. Add them to the bowl of nopales.
5. Cut the avocado into bite sized pieces and sprinkle with kosher salt.
6. Add the lime juice and nearly all of the mint to the bowl of nopales and mango. Then add the avocado to the salad and stir. Top off the salad with the remaining mint, pistachios, and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar.

***Buy prepared nopales if you can so that you needn't bother with trimming the thorns off of this cactus. If you can't buy the nopales that have already been trimmed, use a vegetable peeler instead of a knife and peel horizontally to work most efficaciously. It is much easier to trim a flat nopal than one that is bent. There are instructions on the link above.
***Manila Mangoes are originally from the Phillipines. They are less fibrous and even more delicious than your typical mango and readily available at most Whole Foods, all mexican markets, and many supermarkets
*** If you'd like to get loquissimo replace the pistachios or the nopales with radishes, queso fresco, and/or cotija cheese.

recipe by Cristina Paul

Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

Did You Know?
*25% of U.S. oil is used to make plastic products like straws. If neanderthals and nineteenth century Luddites didn't need them to drink, why do we? What if EVERYONE stopped using straws today?

Other Things Everyone Should Know
Check out this amazing green porno - not exactly sure what kind of green they mean... but you'll like it.




Playing tag has recently become my favorite respite from the crippling morass (emphasis on the ASS) of my mind. Besides the fact that onlookers may think you're slightly wonky, it's surprisingly good exercise (your lungs will hurt, your legs may tremble), it's less self destructive and expensive than drowning your sorrows in alcohol, and doesn't leave the carbon foot print of a pack of cigarettes or a long, relaxing drive. Plus, you can't play tag without a smile.

However, alcohol is often an excellent companion and if you should want to enjoy its company in a thoughtful manner, try an excellent and relatively local, Napa wine; I am sadly surrendering my Pellegrino habit because of the fact that it travels such a long way to reach my local CostCo - I'm suffering from serious carbon emission guilt. However, with a wicked label and name, you've got to uncork a bottle of The Prisoner and experience this unlikely blend - Zinfandel (51%), Cabernet Sauvignon (23%), Syrah (12%), Petite Sirah (6%), Charbono (6%) and Grenache (2%). Purchase The Prisoner online, at Akasha in Culver City, or at The Wine House in West L.A.

Not into tag? Do you think drinking red wine during the summer months is gauche? Then BYOD - or bring your own dance.

What We Want

What we want
is never simple.
We move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a room, an open book
and these things bear our names—

now they want us.
But what we want appears
in dreams, wearing disguises.
We fall past,
holding out our arms
and in the morning
our arms ache.
We don't remember the dream,
but the dream remembers us.
It is there all day

as an animal is there

under the table,

as the stars are there.

by Linda Pastan, from Carnival Evening

Bake - ATION Cake

a G rated piña colada

takes 10 on a trip to contentment

Ingredients:
1 2/3 cup sweetened shredded coconut
½ cup unsalted butter, room temperature, plus extra for the baking dish
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup superfine or baker’s sugar
3 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sour cream (not light)
1 can (20 ounces) of crushed pineapple in juice, drained

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350º. Spread coconut on a baking sheet. Bake until lightly toasted and toss occasionally (about 6-8 minutes). Set the toasted coconut aside. Butter and flour an 8” square baking dish.
2. In a bowl, whisk together all the flour, baking soda, and salt.
3. With a standing mixer on high speed, cream the butter and sugar until the mixture is light and fluffy. Add one egg at a time and then add the vanilla. Reduce speed to low and alternately add dry ingredients and sour cream in three additions. Mix until just combined. Don’t overmix!
4. Now scrape down the sides and carefully incorporate the crushed pineapple and a generous cup of toasted coconut. Spread the batter into the prepared baking dish. Bake and, after 62 minutes, sprinkle the remaining coconut on top of the cake. If the coconut begins to darken too quickly, cover the cake with foil. Continue baking until a toothpick comes out clean or nearly clean (your total bake time will be about 70 minutes). The cake should be very moist. Let the cake cool for 15 minutes and then you may cut pieces from the pan. This cake will keep for about 3 days if you wrap it in plastic and leave it out at room temperature. A dollop of homemade whipped cream would be the perfect accompaniment.

recipe by Cristina Paul

Blah-Blah-Blahg: Food For Nought

I'm trying to find the metaphor for my newly broken toe - which kind of resembles an overstuffed, blue sausage. What am I possibly supposed to learn from a Capture The Flag injury? That's right - I broke my big, right toe while playing a peurile game at a barbecue in Griffith Park. Is the lesson not to drink Korean beer in a red plastic cup so as not to tip off the suspicious park ranger? Or is it never to wear mustard yellow pants - probably constructed in a sweatshop in a land far far away? Perhaps the information I'm supposed to glean from this splendidly-timed corporeal injustice is that my mental state of imbalance has comedically manifested itself as a physical pain which I can no longer ignore. After having my left toe run over by a shopping cart earlier tis year (toenail is slowly growing back) and my right foot stomped on by an unidentified stiletto on two separate occasions (visits to the physical therapist were actually pleasant), I believe some force is trying to send me a message. I have not yet deciphered the meaning. So if you or a loved one have sustained similar injuries and have a clue as to what this is all about - leave a comment. Or if you have any suggestions besides elevating and icing the foot - fill me in. As for now, I am TOE-tally mystified but will continue to count the shades of cool colors (by cool I mean the opposite of warm) on my big toe. Miles Davis ain't got nothing on me. The back of my toe is especially psychedelic - sort of like one of those tie dyed shirts we all made as kids.
Here's a much improved pic of my gnarly toe.